It has been entirely TOO long since my last post! Sorry for keeping you out of the loop, but so many wonderful things have been happening in my life, that I just haven't been able to find the time!
Ok...so now onto the REAL business of this post...LOVE.....
In my journey to become a greater young woman I have opened my heart to many new people. For me it has been the greatest gift in the world, to be able to make new and strong relationships, but, it has also been one of the hardest things as well, because..I...fell.....for a guy.......HARD.
Yes, that's right...I gave into the urge for love and now, I'm all tangled up in it, and cant find a way out.
LOVE, it's such a tricky buisness. There are always excuses, or self-denial tricks that you can use to try and tell your self that your not in love...but that would mean lying to myself...because frankly I've fallen deep and hard.
But the worst part is that I can't HAVE him......
He is already spoken for....
So what do I do now?
I'm not a "love-drunk" teenager, but simply a girl who is sitting back and watching the only person I've ever felt this way for, love someone else.
I am not the kind of person who would hope for his relationship to turn out badly, because that would mean pain for him...I just hope that it ends in a hurry.
You see LOVE is a very, VERY, tricky buisness.
So I advise that before you go and give your entire being to someone, make sure that they're able to give back.
Because watcing him love someone else...is quite possibly some of the worst pain I've ever felt.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Short & Sweet....
Yes it is indeed happening. Things are changing; some good, some bad.
In my last post I explained how I was striving to become a better me. How I was going to strip down the walls and barriers that I made for myself a long time ago, and do things I usually wouldn't dare.
Well things have indeed changed.....
I have stepped out of my usual 2x2 comfort zone, and have entered a field where there are no limits to what I can do. And it has been amazing!
I never realized what I was missing until I was granted the freedom of not being insecure. I was missing out on a whole other part of life that is truly *AMAZING* and I never would have realized it if I hadn't taken a leap of faith into the great unknown!
This post is incredibly short but I felt the need to speak out about what I could have missed, if I hadn't tried something new, and put effort into making it better; I never would have discovered this bliss that I am in now!
So, with that being said.....Do something crazy today that you would never usually do!! You might find you actually like it, or it could even open doors to greater achievements in the future!!
In my last post I explained how I was striving to become a better me. How I was going to strip down the walls and barriers that I made for myself a long time ago, and do things I usually wouldn't dare.
Well things have indeed changed.....
I have stepped out of my usual 2x2 comfort zone, and have entered a field where there are no limits to what I can do. And it has been amazing!
I never realized what I was missing until I was granted the freedom of not being insecure. I was missing out on a whole other part of life that is truly *AMAZING* and I never would have realized it if I hadn't taken a leap of faith into the great unknown!
This post is incredibly short but I felt the need to speak out about what I could have missed, if I hadn't tried something new, and put effort into making it better; I never would have discovered this bliss that I am in now!
So, with that being said.....Do something crazy today that you would never usually do!! You might find you actually like it, or it could even open doors to greater achievements in the future!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
The First Step...
Well, this is it. This is the official beginning of the new me. I've decided to put all of my fears and insecurities behind me, and color outside the lines.
I want to first of all say that, many people don't know the true me. Only a handful of my closest friends know what I want in life, and my dreams for the future. Sadly, some of my closest family don't even know these things.
I've always been quiet, preferring to observe the world around me, instead of actually participating in it. Shy, and quiet, were basically stamped on my forehead, and I let myself pass as that girl for much too long.
So, for about the first 10 years of my life, I was quiet and kept to myself. My true colors would only fly when I was among my 3 sisters, or other members of my family. All throughout elementary school I would switch groups of friends, because I would be too shy to approach my friends from the previous year, and reconnect our friendship. Thus began the constant pattern of gaining friends, losing friends, gaining new friends, and so on....
Then, in the sixth grade, I met some of the greatest young ladies I could ever ask for. I began too exit my "box" and started to be more daring. I spent the night, we went to football games, ran concessions together, we did everything together. Then around the middle of the sixth grade, I met two young men, who took over their role as best friend. I started to revolve around these two boys, spending more time with them than I did with that fabulous group of ladies. Eventually, the school year came to an end, and I lost touch not only with the boys, but with the ladies as well. All throughout the summer, I didn't have any contact with them, and then when it came time for seventh grade to begin, I was prepared for the usual routine of having to find a new group of pals. But God, gave me this group of girls in the sixth grade for a reason, and he wasn't about to let them slip through my fingers. I was greeted on the first day of seventh grade, by a parade of happy smiles and hugs, from the girls I had literally abandoned the year before.
We remained friends that whole year, growing closer and closer. I was still shy, and quiet, but to a much less extent. Then summer rolled around, and eventually eigth grade. Then in eigth grade, someone very dear to me passed away, and sent me into a deep, dark depression.
I became more distant, and eventually started to see my friends less and less. I still was friends with all the girls, but we weren't close anymore. A void had grown between us and we became more like "friends" instead of "best friends".
Now I know this has gotten a little off topic, but let me elaborate some more. I have grown up with walls, and these walls never let me do anything truly daring. I was scared to get up in front of crowds, even to speak to a large group of people.
So, these last few days, I have found a path that I desperatly want to follow. And this path would require me to change my whole life. I would need to stand up in front of crowds, speak, and show my more creative, and fun side.
Well, that is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going speak up, change my ways, and follow this path to success. So today I make a pledge to myself, to follow this and finish.
This is only the beginning........
I want to first of all say that, many people don't know the true me. Only a handful of my closest friends know what I want in life, and my dreams for the future. Sadly, some of my closest family don't even know these things.
I've always been quiet, preferring to observe the world around me, instead of actually participating in it. Shy, and quiet, were basically stamped on my forehead, and I let myself pass as that girl for much too long.
So, for about the first 10 years of my life, I was quiet and kept to myself. My true colors would only fly when I was among my 3 sisters, or other members of my family. All throughout elementary school I would switch groups of friends, because I would be too shy to approach my friends from the previous year, and reconnect our friendship. Thus began the constant pattern of gaining friends, losing friends, gaining new friends, and so on....
Then, in the sixth grade, I met some of the greatest young ladies I could ever ask for. I began too exit my "box" and started to be more daring. I spent the night, we went to football games, ran concessions together, we did everything together. Then around the middle of the sixth grade, I met two young men, who took over their role as best friend. I started to revolve around these two boys, spending more time with them than I did with that fabulous group of ladies. Eventually, the school year came to an end, and I lost touch not only with the boys, but with the ladies as well. All throughout the summer, I didn't have any contact with them, and then when it came time for seventh grade to begin, I was prepared for the usual routine of having to find a new group of pals. But God, gave me this group of girls in the sixth grade for a reason, and he wasn't about to let them slip through my fingers. I was greeted on the first day of seventh grade, by a parade of happy smiles and hugs, from the girls I had literally abandoned the year before.
We remained friends that whole year, growing closer and closer. I was still shy, and quiet, but to a much less extent. Then summer rolled around, and eventually eigth grade. Then in eigth grade, someone very dear to me passed away, and sent me into a deep, dark depression.
I became more distant, and eventually started to see my friends less and less. I still was friends with all the girls, but we weren't close anymore. A void had grown between us and we became more like "friends" instead of "best friends".
Now I know this has gotten a little off topic, but let me elaborate some more. I have grown up with walls, and these walls never let me do anything truly daring. I was scared to get up in front of crowds, even to speak to a large group of people.
So, these last few days, I have found a path that I desperatly want to follow. And this path would require me to change my whole life. I would need to stand up in front of crowds, speak, and show my more creative, and fun side.
Well, that is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going speak up, change my ways, and follow this path to success. So today I make a pledge to myself, to follow this and finish.
This is only the beginning........
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