Monday, October 10, 2011

The First Step...

Well, this is it. This is the official beginning of the new me. I've decided to put all of my fears and insecurities behind me, and color outside the lines.
 I want to first of all say that, many people don't know the true me. Only a handful of my closest friends know what I want in life, and my dreams for the future. Sadly, some of my closest family don't even know these things.
I've always been quiet, preferring to observe the world around me, instead of actually participating in it. Shy, and quiet, were basically stamped on my forehead, and I let myself pass as that girl for much too long.
So, for about the first 10 years of my life, I was quiet and kept to myself. My true colors would only fly when I was among my 3 sisters, or other members of my family. All throughout elementary school I would switch groups of friends, because I would be too shy to approach my friends from the previous year, and reconnect our friendship. Thus began the constant pattern of gaining friends, losing friends, gaining new friends, and so on....
Then, in the sixth grade, I met some of the greatest young ladies I could ever ask for. I began too exit my "box" and started to be more daring. I spent the night, we went to football games, ran concessions together, we did everything together. Then around the middle of the sixth grade, I met two young men, who took over their role as best friend. I started to revolve around these two boys, spending more time with them than I did with that fabulous group of ladies.      Eventually, the school year came to an end, and I lost touch not only with the boys, but with the ladies as well. All throughout the summer, I didn't have any contact with them, and then when it came time for seventh grade to begin, I was prepared for the usual routine of having to find a new group of pals. But God, gave me this group of girls in the sixth grade for a reason, and he wasn't about to let them slip through my fingers. I was greeted on the first day of seventh grade, by a parade of happy smiles and hugs, from the girls I had literally abandoned the year before.
   We remained friends that whole year, growing closer and closer. I was still shy, and quiet, but to a much less extent. Then summer rolled around, and eventually eigth grade. Then in eigth grade, someone very dear to me passed away, and sent me into a deep, dark depression.
 I became more distant, and eventually started to see my friends less and less. I still was friends with all the girls, but we weren't close anymore. A void had grown between us and we became more like "friends" instead of "best friends". 
  Now I know this has gotten a little off topic, but let me elaborate some more. I have grown up with walls, and these walls never let me do anything truly daring. I was scared to get up in front of crowds, even to speak to a large group of people.
So, these last few days, I have found a path that I desperatly want to follow. And this path would require me to change my whole life. I would need to stand up in front of crowds, speak, and show my more creative, and fun side.
Well, that is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going speak up, change my ways, and follow this path to success. So today I make a pledge to myself, to follow this and finish. 

This is only the beginning........

1 comment:

  1. Dear sweet Maggie!!!!

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us! We are praying for you as you tear down the walls that had you in captivity, and I can't wait to see how you blossom as you take this huge leap of faith!

    Love you!

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